I know of many Muslims who refuse to marry, or let their children marry, out of their own culture or race. However, everyone has a specific person to who they would like to marry. I am always posting from my point of view or what converts have to say. This post shows one man’s want to marry a convert.
A sister reached out to me and told me why her brother wants to marry a convert, over a born Muslim, or someone from his own country.
The rest of the article states his reasoning for wanting to marry a convert.
“This is not a public article or general advice but my own trial to answer this personal question.
It has been an unspoken rule, in some parts of the world, that one should look to get married from the same community, race, or ethnicity. I don’t think this unspoken rule can be applied to everybody, it is cultural.
For example, an Egyptian would be looking for another Egyptian. My Syrian friend from Homs wanted to find someone from the same province and refused the idea of even marrying someone from Damascus or Aleppo. A Desi family would love to find their son or daughter a match from the same area in South Asia.
I am not going to argue that this does not exist, I know it does. This can make the understanding and affinity easier between the couple. However, like any marriage, it can succeed or fail.
Despite spending most of my life in Egypt, I consider myself a global citizen, with an Islamic-inspired culture. I grew up in Northern Ireland, my favourite literature is European and American. Despite choosing medicine as a career, I studied International Relations, and the contact list on my phone has numbers from people all over the globe. Most of my closest friends aren’t Egyptians or even Arabs.
This made my cultural background and tradition broadly expanded and not limited to one specific ethnicity or culture.
I am looking for someone who has chosen Islam and not inherited it from her parents. Someone who felt that sense of something missing from their life which led them to find Islam. While this can be found in some born Muslims, it is mostly found in converts. I am not generalizing, it is just what I have noticed from my experiences in life. I am looking for someone who is looking to grow in a faith that she chose over another.
To me, I would like someone who chose Islam as a way of life while still being open minded for her own culture and others. Yes, I am looking for the other criteria that a man would look for in a woman whether physical or manners. I know some may see this as unconventional or unrealistic. However, it makes sense for me and this is what I feel and believe in and look for. I am not saying this is the truth or the best formula to find your partner but it is my own thoughts and feelings.
A personal search for a personal matter for one person.
I don’t know who Allah has written for me as a spouse, but until I find that one Inshaa Allah. Jazakum Allah Khairan for reading.”
Click here to visit Kaya’s: Instagram, Facebook, and Blog.
Click here to visit Kaya’s: Instagram, Facebook, and Blog.
Kaya is a blogger, activist, and writer.
*The Photo in the Article is Not Mine – I do not own any rights to it.*
I wish there would be more such open mindness