I am mostly talking from my experience, but often times I see converts in particular being treated horribly for asking for a mahr (dowry). For those of you who do not know, a mahr is a dowry that goes directly to the bride, not the family.
I understand some women don’t care about it, but when a woman does, you, as a man should not refuse her God given right, because God is watching. If you are reading this and taking offense, it is probably about or pertains to you.
If you, as a man, don’t want to pay it. Be respectful of that and say you cannot pay it and just move on. You don’t have to marry anyone if you don’t want to give a mahr. So, don’t make a woman suffer due to you being stingy.
A woman has a right to a mahr, and you as a “Muslim Man” should know that.
I, myself, have been treated badly for asking for a mahr. And when I was, I went running for the hills, because if a man says, “if you really loved him, you wouldn’t ask for a mahr.” That is a big red flag in the early talking stages of marriage and lets you know just how selfish a muslim man can be.
Ladies remember, you are not a gold digger for asking for a Mahr. It is your God given right as a muslim women.
So, now here I am. People trying to ruin my life and personal relationships. This is what happens when you don’t marry a guy when there are red flags. It’s even more sad when the man is a imam.