Kaya Gravitter

Converts, this is an article I am writing to you to warn you about the Muslim men that only want one thing from you. I am not talking about marrying you. I am talking about a sexual relationship. Unfortunately, us converts are often taken advantage of by Muslim men. 

I have had too many converts coming to me and telling me that men are nice when they initially start talking to them. They come off as religious. They come off like they are interested in marriage. Then after talking to the woman for only a short time, they try to turn the conversation sexual. They try to talk dirty to you, they try to get you to send them pictures of you without hijab. I don’t know why guys do this. I don’t know if they think converts are nieve or what.

So, how can you spot when a guy is going to be like that from the beginning?

1. He says he is not ready for a serious relationship.

he may be telling the truth about not being ready for you, but he will always be ready for the right woman. If he says he is not ready for you then he probably will never be. Don’t waste your time on this brother, you deserve better.

2. He always tries to make sexual innuendos

He will try to make take some completely innocent and turn it into something sexual.

3. When you hear from him, you feel like he is using you for sex. 

No one wants to feel that way and if you feel that way, trust your gut. Most likely you are right.

4. He gets angry if you don’t want to talk about sexual things.

If he gets upset at your refusal of sex or talking sexual, don’t argue. Just say bye and good riddance, bro.

5. He doesn’t talk about how nice your personality is and only focuses on your looks

Because he wants sex, that is why he only cares about how you look. You are more then you look, don’t let any guy tell you differently. If he only talks about your looks, ask him what he likes about your personality. Also, if they never ask how you are or anything about you, that’s a red flag too.

Izdihar, a fellow convert shared her experience. She said, “They act different when they find out you are a convert. Apparently i could pass as being from “somewhere” so men always act super respectful until the moment they find out i’m a convert. Then its inappropriate questions, shoulder touches, and just a general lack of respect for ones personal space. At first i felt very obligated as a new Muslim to be nice to everyone and to never miss a learning opportunity and found myself in many dangerous situations. Its so easy as a convert to trust other Muslims, i mean they were lucky enough to be born into it, should they not know more then me and be a better Muslim? well obviously that isn’t the case, but genuinely as a new convert you don’t know better. I could say so much on this topic. I hardly know a convert who hasn’t been sexually assaulted at some point in some way. May Allah be just.”